Deciding What to Give
Dear Leading Ladies,
I’ve been having some uncomfortable conversations with friends. One might even call them intrusive. And they weren’t even about sex or politics. Actually, I’ve been asking about their charitable giving. A subject, it turns out, that is pretty personal unless you are among those who name buildings after themselves.
My curiosity began when my husband was shaming me (okay, shaming is a bit of an overstatement) about our giving history by bringing up tithing, the ancient custom that demanded people give one tenth of their crops or income to their temples or churches. For sheer economic reasons, that is not a reasonable ask of most people in our times. Forget the fact that, historically, the tithes were used to support the clergy’s often lavish lifestyle and the construction of magnificent temples and cathedrals. Only a small amount actually ever helped the poor.
So, if tithing was not going to offer me a helpful model of giving, what might?
Looking at what others are doing seemed like a good start. In 2024, Americans gave $592.5 billion to charity, with 66% coming from individuals. The largest portion went to religious causes ($146.54 billion) with civil rights and community benefits, education, international aid, and arts and culture more than a little behind. Giving varies by age. The Silent Generation averages $1,367; Baby Boomers, $1,212; Gen X, $732; Millennials, $481; and Gen Z, $785. (Thanks to the Miami County Community Foundation for these and the statistics below.)
But here are the stats that gave me some really helpful parameters and guidance. Sixty percent of US households give to charity each year. Among that 60%, the typical annual donation is between two and three thousand dollars, or four percent of their income. Of course, there are different financial pressures on families at different stages of life — college tuition, health care, and unforeseen medical or household expenses. But these stats, along with learning that Americans are among the most generous in the world, made me want to dig a little deeper this year and going forward.
Every individual or family decides how much to give and to what causes. Some prefer to support local groups more than international; others like to mix it up. Some people opt for more participatory giving. Think working at a soup kitchen or food pantry, volunteering for hospice or a literacy program; writing holiday cards to nursing home residents; donating sheets and blankets to animal shelters; dropping off winter coats at a shelter or at Anton’s cleaners for distribution to those in need; dropping off food or a meal at a community fridge (here’s a list of them in Massachusetts); paying it forward at coffee shops by purchasing a ticket an unhoused person can use to buy a cup of Joe. (Thanks to Graphic Details for crowd sourcing many of these ideas.) Whether to give once a year, monthly, or throughout the year is another personal decision. Monthly payments provide charities with guaranteed stability. Some people prefer making fewer gifts of larger amounts because they feel they can make a bigger impact that way. And some people decide to give to organizations such as givedirectly.org that puts money directly into the hands of the poorest in our country and abroad to use as they determine to better their lives. Wherever and however you decide to donate, make sure there are worthy causes. Check on Charity Navigator.
So, you don’t have to get as nosy as I did and ask your friends how much they give to charitable causes. But I learned a lot from my discussions. I was reassured to discover that we were doing pretty well with our giving, but we should and can do better. Still, no money for building bigger temples and cathedrals for us. We’ll leave that to others.
We wish you all the happiest of holidays, full of all the joy that being with family and friends can bring.
Therese (she/her/hers)
Judy (she/her/hers)
Didi (she/her/hers)
Leading Ladies Executive Team
Leadingladiesvote.org
ladies@leadingladiesvote.org