Yes, it's shocking!

Dear Leading Ladies,

We admit it. It takes a lot to shock us these days. Five days to elect a Speaker of the House? Crazy, but just another day in the new reality. Shirtsleeve weather in December? Getting to be routine. Veterinary tranquilizer mixed with fentanyl the new street drug? Alarming, but far from shocking.

But then along comes this news. A six-year-old first grader brought a gun to school and purposely, with clear intention, shot his 25-year-old teacher. They had an “altercation,” it was reported, before the child fired one life-threatening shot at his teacher. Now he is in police custody.

A gun-toting six-year-old

Shocking

And, yes, we are shocked.

But let’s be clear. We are not shocked that a six-year-old had access to a firearm, since we have known for a long time that one in four children lives in a home with guns and close to 70% of those guns are not stored safely.

We are shocked that this child apparently thought shooting the gun was an appropriate way to solve a disagreement with his teacher. Where does the responsibility belong for this? Parents? Media? The NRA? The proliferation of killings that even young children hear about as they go about their lives?

And, by the way, we are shocked that a six-year-old is in police custody, though we are not sure where he should be. At home where he may have gotten the gun? In our broken foster care system? In a mental health facility that is understaffed and probably not trained to deal with the issue, if it is a mental health issue?

Finally, we are shocked that even an event such as this does not make everyone in the country scream for more gun control laws.

And yet.

Would stricter gun control laws totally solve the problem? Maybe once upon a time they would, but we’ve gone beyond that point now. When a six-year-old child in first grade thinks shooting his teacher is the way to solve a disagreement with her, making it harder for adults to purchase guns will clearly not solve the whole problem.

Guns and violence are so deeply entrenched in our culture, so much a part of our ethos, that removing guns from the equation is necessary but not sufficient. Let us just repeat that again, lest it be misinterpreted. Common sense gun laws are necessary. They are just not sufficient.

Those against gun control laws would have us believe that gun control laws are not even part of the solution. They defend a person’s right to bear arms and deny guns are responsible for the violence in our society. Full stop.

What if?

Let’s imagine for a moment that the person who owns the gun that the six-year-old fired had been required to take a gun safety course. Or had to sign an affidavit saying he or she would keep the gun unloaded and in a locked container inaccessible to a child. Or had to abide by a law that required guns be kept off the premises inhabited by children.

Chances are this incident could have been averted.

What might not have been avoided, however, is what seems to be the child’s notion that the way to solve a disagreement is through violence. To change that mindset requires something more. For children to grow up with the skills and intention to negotiate and collaborate, give and take, build consensus, deal with frustration, handle disappointment, accept criticism and give appreciation – well, that takes loving guidance from the adults in their lives. It takes role models, exposure to books and movies and sports figures who are admirable and magnetic people to emulate.

We don’t even know who this six-year-old shooter is. We don’t know his name or whether he has siblings or likes to ride a bicycle or watch cartoons. But we do know that he is a little boy who made a very bad decision based on a misunderstanding of who his best self could be.

How many other little boys and girls are out there being groomed to use violence as their solutions to problems? And how are we encouraging them by making guns so easy for them to use?

Gun control laws will not solve all our problems of violence, it is true. But they will keep guns out of the hands of so many children who need to learn other ways to be men and women.

What can we do?

We must continue to support gun control laws that require extensive background checks; gun safety instruction; adherence to gun storage regulations; regulation of untraceable ghost guns; a ban on AR15-style rifles; red flag programs (also known as Extreme Risk Protection Order laws) and a prohibition on marketing guns to minors. For an overview of gun legislation in different states, click here.

While those who are against gun control laws would have us believe the problems lie elsewhere, we say that regulating guns will save many lives, but we agree it will not solve the whole problem.

We also need to support programs that teach children from a very young age how to resolve differences in constructive ways. If these skills are not being learned at home, we need to support schools and organizations such as YMCAs, boys and girls clubs, and Big Brothers and Big Sisters in their efforts to provide skills and role models. On the North Shore, we have Girls Inc. and REAL in Lynn, and Express Yourself in Beverly, organizations that provide enrichment for youth. If it takes a village to raise a child, our villages have some work to do around psycho-social and ethical development of our young.

Complicated problems have complicated solutions. That shouldn’t shock any of us.

Best,

Therese (she/her/hers)
Judy (she/her/hers)
Didi (she/her/hers)
Mackenzie (she/her/hers)
Leading Ladies Executive Team
Leadingladiesvote.org
ladies@leadingladiesvote.org