A Tale of Two Redheads

Dear Leading Ladies, 

As we listened  to the president’s plan to take over Greenland – to wrest it from Denmark and annex it to the United States – we started wondering if perhaps the president thinks Greenland is actually green. We thought maybe he believes this massive arctic ice cube is the perfect spot for a new golf course or three. Is he envisioning an entire greenway from coast to coast, catering to the elite golfers of the world? Perhaps someone should tell him that Greenland is a mile-thick hunk of ancient ice with a 840,000-square-mile ice sheet. Perhaps he should know that, even with the climate change and the resulting melting that he so vehemently denies, this is no place for country clubs. 

Then we began to wonder how Greenland acquired such a misnomer. 

Turns out another redhead is responsible for that piece of clever marketing. Erik the Red (named for his red hair and beard, as well as his fiery temper) and his band of Vikings left Iceland in a hurry after the exploring hothead killed three people in a feud about a thousand years ago. They headed west and discovered Greenland. Although recent research shows that Greenland did have some green areas and was warmer than it is today, it was still pretty icy and cold. 

Legend has it that Erik chose the name Greenland because he wanted people to settle there and he figured that the pleasing name would attract colonists. His plan seemed to work. Erik was able to colonise the island and establish the chieftain’s seat of power for himself.  “By the year 1000, the Viking societies numbered some 3,000 inhabitants on 300-400 farms. The Viking society survived for about 500 years,” according to visitgreenland.com. According to various sources, the Vikings would have stayed indefinitely but for a host of problems, including a significant temperature drop in the 14th century due to a volcanic eruption on the other side of the world; the Black Plague in Europe and subsequent lack of continued demand for walrus ivory which had been Greenland’s major export; new trade routes to Africa, the source of elephant ivory which was considered more valuable than walrus ivory; conflicts with the Inuits; overgrazing; and European pirates.

So there you have it. Erik the Red colonised Greenland, but the Inuit and Dorset people already lived there, so to say he discovered the island is another white man’s myth. Erik then brought fellow Europeans, specifically Norsemen, to the island through clever marketing and salesmanship. The new residents were in Greenland until sometime between 1350 and 1500 when the last of them disappeared. Today, 88% of Greenland's 56,865 people are Inuit (predominantly Kalaallit) or mixed Danish and Inuit. The remaining 12% are of European descent, mainly Danish. The official language is Greenlandic, an Inuit language with 40 words for snow. Since the language is polysynthetic, meaning words are made of many parts of other words, words tend to be very long, averaging near 14 letters. 

So what’s our red-headed (all right, his new look is more champagne blond than red) president have in mind with his exploration into Greenland? Probably not acquiring a second language. And surely, someone among his gang of thieves has the courage to tell him that any plans for a string of golf courses is a no-go. What’s left? Some rare chemicals that we already import from the island and the ability to have a military presence which we already have.

We’re going to have to hear a better marketing pitch before we buy into this real estate deal, that’s for sure.  

All the best,

Therese (she/her/hers)

Judy (she/her/hers)

Didi (she/her/hers)

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ladies@leadingladiesvote.org